someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
