Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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