he thought i was a dude.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
