It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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