absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
