I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
