i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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