where does the pee come out of this thing
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
