Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize