He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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