I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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