You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My dick has a subreddit
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
