you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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