You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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