You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize