I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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