did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
