roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize