i jhust puked up my retainher.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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