Michael Bay diarrhea
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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