If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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