her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
