stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
