I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize