i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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