When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
