I CAN MOONWALK!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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