Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize