Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
