I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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