dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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