She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
