My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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