Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
