i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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