Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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