i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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