You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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