you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i out mim tonsoeep
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