How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
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Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
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I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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