hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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