Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
