Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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