so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
