I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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