You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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