I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
