My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
