I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
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