I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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