"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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