Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
