ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
