I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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