i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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