youre lurking in front of me
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
