I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
