the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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