Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize