I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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