Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So vagazzling was a success
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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